La familia es lo más valioso que podemos tener y sin duda toda familia bien cimentada y equilibrada comienza con el matrimonio.
Muchas personas anhelan algún día encontrar a su media naranja para formar un hogar feliz; tener hijos, educarlos y verlos crecer, en fin disfrutar de una familia unida, sana, equilibrada.
Todo esto se dice fácil, pero muchas veces no lo es. No es mi afán desanimar a nadie, al contrario, el matrimonio puede llegar a ser tan fácil o tan difícil como nosotros lo queramos.
¿Pero cuáles son las cosas que están destruyendo el matrimonio? ¿No serán acaso la falta de valores que en los últimos tiempos se empiezan a esfumar?
Aunque tengamos un buen matrimonio o deseemos tenerlo alguna vez, no nos caerá mal recordar en breve estos 5 valores que si los ponemos por obra, sin duda aumentarán la estabilidad y felicidad en nuestro matrimonio.
El valor del respeto:
Este tiene que ver con valorar a tu cónyuge tanto como te valoras a ti mismo. Dice la regla de oro «no hagas a nadie lo que no quieras que te hagan a ti» dicho de otra manera, trata a tu cónyuge como quieres ser tratado.
Estoy convencida que valoración y respeto van de la mano, pero es cada vez más alto el índice de parejas que ante la menor provocación empiezan a ofenderse de tal manera que se hace un verdadero combate llegando muchas veces a agredirse físicamente.
Tu cónyuge vale tanto como vales tu, no te sientas superior a el o ella sólo porque tienes alguna capacidad distinta, recuerda que cada persona vale por ser en si un ser humano y quien sabe si no nos hemos dado cuenta que tiene muchas cualidades que aun no hemos logrado ver.
El valor del agradecimiento:
Tendemos erróneamente a poner la mira en lo que nosotros estamos haciendo y se nos olvida ver lo que esta haciendo nuestro esposo (a) por mantener nuestra relación funcionando.
Solemos ver las cosas a través de nuestro propio lente, pero si nos pusiéramos a ver lo poco o lo mucho que hace nuestro cónyuge tuviéramos una capacidad mayor de agradecer. Creemos que loque hace nuestra pareja simplemente es su responsabilidad, entonces creemos que lo merecemos todo.
Si empezáramos a ver los pequeños esfuerzos de nuestro compañero de vida y lo agradecemos haciéndoselo saber, seguramente nuestra relación dejará de ser sólo cumplir responsabilidades sino disfrutar el hacerlas y el vivir juntos.
El valor de la confianza:
Cuando la confianza esta entre nosotros no hay hostilidad, es decir, esas clásicas llamadas al celular ¿»dónde estas»?, «porqué no has llegado’?, *te he estado hablando y no me has contestado* etc. Estas llamadas hechas cada tres minutos suelen convertirse en un infierno para el que las recibe y en poco tiempo termina anulando el amor que un dia existió. No confundamos el amor con manipulación, tampoco lo confundamos con co dependencia.
El amor verdadero no causa sentimientos de incomodidad o angustia. Si estas cayendo en el error de vivir en la zozobra, más vale que empieces a disfrutar de tu matrimonio o noviazgo y dejar un espacio para que tu novio o esposo (a) viva feliz y te extrañe, además eso aumentará el verdadero interés y amor por ti.
El valor del desinterés:
Esto simple y llanamente es estar con el novio o el esposo por el bien financiero que de él se puede obtener. Estas personas no pueden ver el valor de su cónyuge fuera del contexto del dinero o bienes que se pueden recibir. Es triste decido pero si sabes que tu cónyuge esta contigo sólo por interés financiero, te estas engañando a ti mismo, lo mejor es hablado y dejar paulatinamente que tu pareja se valga por si mismo en cuanto a sus finanzas personales para que empiece a valorarte sin relacionarte con un beneficio y para que aprecie lo difícil que es salir a la calle a ganarse la vida con trabajo a veces duro, pero honrado.
Por otra parte si has cometido el error de amar más la cartera que al que la trae, evalúa este error ya que eso revela tu incapacidad de valorar a las personas por lo que son. Si buscas en tu cónyuge el valor de sus sentimientos, sin duda los encontrarás, y si comienzas a enfocarte más en tu pareja como persona, seguramente tendrás una relación más genuina y verdadera que en realidad vale más que todo el dinero que pudiera existir.
El valor de la fidelidad:
Es el valor supremo que encierra a todos los demás. Cuando respetas, valoras, agradeces y amas sin un interés falso, difícilmente tendrás como opción ser infiel a tu esposo (a).
No estoy diciendoque es fácil mantener la integridad en nuestro matrimonio, especialmente en estos tiempos en que como dije al principio, tus amigos o amigas te dirán «ándale, esta es tu oportunidad» «a quién le dan pan que llore*.
Esto es demasiado egoísta para quienes lo promueven y para el que lo realiza porque nunca te advierten de las consecuencias emocionales que vendrán sobre tu cónyuge, que aunque no ha sido la pareja perfecta, ha estado a tu lado en las buenas y en las malas. Tampoco se piensa en los hijos o los hijos de la otra persona si es que los tiene etc. La lista de consecuencias es muy larga y créeme nada agradable.
Quienes han querido escribir su propio libro en la infidelidad han tenido que pagar la factura de daños posteriores que ojala se pagaran con dinero, sería más fácil así, pero lamentablemente las grietas en los
corazones de los que creyeron en nosotros no es tan fácil repararlas, a menos que se pida un perdón verdadero y dejemos lugar a Dios, pues es quien conoce nuestros mas íntimos sentimientos para que venga a traer una sanidad total en la relación.
Una restauración posterior a una infidelidad no es imposible, pero si cansada y dolorosa: además después de todo te das cuenta que no valía tanto aquello que fue un deslumbramiento con una estela de dolor.
Lo mejor es defender nuestro matrimonio y con ello la vida de los nuestros. Gracias por detenerse conmigo a reflexionar, sigamos construyendo las mejores familias.
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